Not Who I Thought I Was
by Foreststar of WindClan
Summary: Moorwater of ShadowClan grew up thinking Soaringksy and Chasingwind were his parents. He is distraught when he finds out he is half-clan. But not half-ShadowClan. Half-RiverClan and half-WindClan. And it gets worse. One of his parents is a former rogue. The other is an old kittypet. Now Moorwater has to find a way to deal with the revelation.


A RiverClan warrior lunged at Moorwater.

"I'm going to teach you filthy frog-hearts not to steal prey!" He spat.

The RiverClan cat knocked over the ShadowClan warrior, who hissed angrily and scratched his foe's face. The RiverClan warrior smashed his paws into Moorwater's throat. He thrust his claws into his enemy's belly, who's eyes widened. The cat collapsed, and Moorwater shoved him off.

Moorwater leaped onto a RiverClan warrior named Fliptail. The old warrior was just finishing off Moorwater's clanmate, Sloeberry. Moorwater yanked him off Sloeberry.

Fliptail stared up at Moorwater, eyes shining with hatred, spitting viciously. Then, his whole demeanor changed.

Fliptail stopped struggling and watched Moorwater with different eyes, eyes filled with... Was that love? What was going on?

"Scared, Cowardtail?" Moorwater taunted. He swiped Fliptail's face with his paw. Still, the brown warrior didn't react, besides for a flash of pain and... Hurt?

Moorwater didn't understand why Fliptail wasn't fighting back. Angry, he bit the RiverClan warrior's shoulder.

"You're as weak as a kittypet!" Moorwater sneered, remembering that Fliptail used to be a weak kittypet. He was trying to get Fliptail to fight back. This was no fun.

Fliptail's eyes flashed and suddenly, Moorwater was the one pinned on the ground, staring into Fliptail's eyes. Moorwater glanced around. Most of both sides had fled, so it was much quieter than earlier.

"Don't you dare call your father a kittypet!" Fliptail roared.

Moorwater froze. Fliptail was his father? But Chasingwind was! The fighting cats that hadn't fled yet broke apart and stared at the two cats.

"What are you talking about?" Moorwater asked. His voice shook.

Fliptail leaned down, the fire in his eyes lessening. "Those two cats you call your parents, Soaringsky and Chasingwind, they're filthy frog-hearted liars."

Soaringsky and Chasingwind, not his real parents? Moorwater decided to confront them about it. But first, he had to beat Fliptail.

Moorwater pushed up, and Fliptail leaped off, padded away, his tail swishing back and forth.

"Get your wounds checked, son," Fliptail called over his shoulder. Moorwater felt a flash of anger. You have no right to call me your son, you filthy, lying, fish-heart!

Moorwater stared after the warrior's tail with angry eyes, then turned and sped back to camp.

* * *

ShadowClan was gathered around the entrance. Injured warriors lay sprawled all over the clearing. The medicine cat, Whiskerfur, a small, undersized brown tom with short, bristly fur, nearly the size of a new apprentice, despite having been a full medicine cat for seasons, rushed around, checking his clanmates wounds, muttering to himself that they were mousebrains for getting into such a big battle over two pieces of prey and making him have use up all his herbs.

The clan leader and deputy, Strikestar and Stubtail, crouched at the fresh kill pile, muttering to themselves about sending out hunting patrols.

"Hey, Moorwater," Lamefoot sneered, hobbling up. She had always been envious of others for being normal, so when she got a chance to humiliate them, she took it. _Oh, no. She saw Fliptail say that I was his son!_ Moorwater thought. "Eaten any fish lately? Or do the fish keeping slipping out because you're so slimy?"

"Where did that come from?" Lamefoot's brother, Hobblefoot, who had twisted his paw from falling off a tree while chasing a squirrel, limped up. Moorwater liked him far more than his sister.

"Haven't you heard, Twist?" Lamefoot sneered. She considered herself above Hobblefoot, but her nickname didn't bother the lame warrior. "Fishwater here is half-RiverClan!"

"What's this about the filthy fish-hearts?" Slatewing asked, padding up.

Lamefoot raised her voice. "Strikestar, Stubtail!" Every head in the camp turned toward her. "Come and exile this fish! He's too slippery and gross to eat! And he'll spill out all of ShadowClan's secrets to the filthy fish-hearted prey-stealers!"

"What are you talking about?" Strikestar asked, raising his eyebrows (do cats have eyebrows?).

At that moment, the only other ShadowClan warrior who had still been at the battle at Fliptail's announcement, Blazeclaw, entered the camp and sneered at Moorwater.

"Hey, fish-heart," Blazeclaw sneered. "Eaten any fish lately? Or are your claws too slippery, so they keep slipping out of your grasp, just like your father's?"

"What is going on here?" Stubtail asked.

"Moorwater here is Half-RiverClan!" Lamefoot meowed triumphantly.

"What are you meowing about, Lamefoot?" Stubtail snapped.

Lamefoot flinched, like the way she did whenever she heard her name. "Fliptail is Moorwater's father!"

"Really? Let's ask Chasingwind and Soaringsky if they're Moorwater's parents," Strikestar looked doubtful. Moorwater could practically hear his thoughts: Moorwater had been a loyal ShadowClan warrior all his life; how could he be half-clan?

Hobblefoot left the group to find, in Moorwater's opinion, his true parents. He returned quickly with Soaringsky and Chasingwind, then backed away.

"Soaringsky, Chasingwind," Strikestar meowed, his pale amber eyes fixed on the pair. "Fliptail has claimed Moorwater has his son. Are you Moorwater's true parents? The ones that gave birth to him?"

Chasingwind shifted uncomfortably and Soaringsky looked regretful, like she had known it would eventually come down to this.

"No," Chasingwind admitted. An uproar of fury and shock greeted his words. Moorwater felt like Chasingwind had just raked his claws across his face. "Fliptail was an old friend of mine, so when he asked if Soaringsky and I would raise Moorwater, we agreed. Soaringsky did not give birth to our son."

"You lied to me!" Chasingwind's best friend, Longclaw, spat. "You lied to ShadowClan!"

"We did not," Soaringsky's voice shook, but she remained calm. "Did you ever ask directly if he was our son? No, you did not. Did we ever state directly that Moorwater was our son? No, we did not."

Strikestar and Stubtail contemplated her words. Moorwater shook with fury. They lied to me!

"That may be true, but you took in a kit from another clan," Stubtail meowed.

"How do we know if we can trust Moorwater not to spill ShadowClan's secrets to RiverClan?" Lamefoot growled.

"I would never help those filthy fish-hearts!" Moorwater spat at her. "I grew up in ShadowClan! My loyalty always was, and always will be to ShadowClan!"

"Half-clan cats cannot be trusted," Twofur stated. His black and white pelt bristled, but his tone was flat, monotone, emotionless."

"That's just frog-brained!" Chasingwind snarled. "Whose fault is it that half-clan cats are born into two clans? Their parents! They didn't ask to be like that!"

"If Soaringsky isn't the mother," Hobblefoot interrupted. His voice was calm, and his pelt flat, but his narrow green eyes were filled with shock. "Then who is?"

The cats fell silent. "Soaringsky, Chasingwind, tell us who the mother is," Longclaw snarled.

"No," Chasingwind meowed.

"It doesn't matter what you want anymore, brother," Slatewing growled. "Tell us, now!"

"No," Chasingwind repeated.

"Tell us, Chasingwind," Strikestar ordered.

Chasingwind hesitated. "No. It's not that I don't want to, it's that I can't. Fliptail wouldn't tell me or Soaringsky who the mother is."

* * *

Moorwater pushed through the throng of cats, heading towards his RiverClan father, his eyes narrowed in disgust and distaste. Strikestar had ordered him to find out who his mother was.

"Fliptail," Moorwater called. He had meant for it to be a slightly pleased-sounding voice, but it turned into a growl. "I need to talk to you."

The gray and brown warrior followed Moorwater away from the clans. "What is it son?" Fliptail asked, sitting down and curling his brown tail around his paws. His blue eyes shone in the darkness.

Moorwater fought down and urge to scratch Fliptail's face, then head back. But he wasn't one to break the warrior code, and Strikestar would just send him back to get answers. He occupied himself for several moments by watching Fliptail's white tail-tip flick around, up and down, up and down, just like his when he sat. By watching his father's slanted ears, that were spread farther apart than normal, and much longer, although flatter, than most other cat's ears. Like his. By watching Fliptail's jaw twitch whenever he was waiting. Like him.

"Moorwater?" Fliptail meowed. He remained focused on his brown tail wrapped neatly around his paws. "Moorwater, look at me." Relunctantly, the brown and gray warrior raised his blue eyes to meet Fliptail's. "I know you're mad at me," he continued. "And you don't want to talk, but we're wasting moonlight, and the gathering is about to start. What is it that you want to talk about?"

Moorwater opened his mouth, trying to force his words out, but his tongue seemed thick and slow.

"Moorwater," Fliptail repeated.

"Who's my mother?" Moorwater burst out the words, eager to have that part past.

"You're mother?" Fliptail seemed half-surprised at his question. "Do you really want to know?"

"Yes," Moorwater paused, then added, "Though the truth only brings pain, lies only bring more pain. Only the truth can ease it."

Fliptail sighed. "You have grown much, my son. If you really want to know, then I will tell you who your mother is."

He paused. "Your mother is Moonstream."

* * *

Strikestar was shell-shocked.

Strikestar, Stubtail, Soaringsky, Chasingwind, Whiskerfur, and Moorwater were squeezed into the leader's den, listening as Moorwater told them what Fliptail had told him. It was a tight fit, but they managed.

Moorwater felt that he had somehow let his leader down. He knew that the ginger tom had hoped that it was not as bad it seemed, that the mother was maybe in ShadowClan, and failing that, RiverClan. But she wasn't.

"Moonstream?" Stubtail repeated disbelievingly. "The WindClan deputy?"

Moorwater nodded. "The WindClan deputy," he confirmed.

"How?" Whiskerfur asked faintly.

Moorwater repeated what he had just meowed.

Fliptail had meowed that they had met each other when he was a young warrior, and she was an apprentice mid-training. She asked to meet him again, and Fliptail, having fallen completely in love with her instantly, agreed at once. They met in secret every night, but stayed away from each other on gathering nights most times, so the other clans wouldn't suspect anything.

After a harsh leaf-bare, Slitherstar had made her his deputy, and Moonstream had told Fliptail that they couldn't meet anymore, as they couldn't be loyal enough to their clans if they stayed together. It broke his heart, but Fliptail had agreed. They separated, but a moon later, Moonstream had discovered she was carrying his kits. She had been filled with terror that they would find out the truth, and joy that she would give birth to a new generation.

Moonstream sought out Fliptail at a gathering night, and told him about their kits. She asked him to take them and claim them as kits found at the edge of the territory, starved and freezing. Fliptail agreed.

Moonstream gave birth to Moorwater and one other kit, who was still-born. She gave Moorwater to Fliptail, who asked Soaringsky and Chasingwind if they would raise him, as Soaringsky was already expecting kits. She started to give birth as they were talking, and only one kit was born, one who looked exactly like Moorkit. That kit died within seconds. The two grieving parents agreed, and took Moorkit and their dead kit, whom they named Flowkit, to ShadowClan. And Moorwater was raised there for the rest of his life.

Moorwater fell silent. The cats stared at each other.

"Are you sure?" Stubtail finally asked. Moorwater nodded, fearing exile.

"You, Chasingwind, and Soaringsky may stay in ShadowClan," Strikestar meowed. "But you two," he added, turning to his parents. "Must have one other clanmate with you at all times, who is not connected to your family."

They dipped their heads, then padded out. Whiskerfur and Stubtail followed. Moorwater looked uncertainly at Strikestar. He nodded, and the brown and gray warrior hurried out after them.

_**Narrater:**_

Moorwater struggled with the revelation of his true parents for several moons. For this reason, his duties were cut short. When he finally overcame it, Stubstar, as Strikestar had passed away during his hard times, returned him to full warrior duties. Moorwater eventually gained Stubstar's full and completely unwavering trust and was made deputy for his loyalty and commitment, rising to leader soon after. He led a noble, respect-filled life as leader of ShadowClan and passed away from wounds after a great battle, defending his mate and kit's lives. They mourned him, but went on. He is with his family forever now in the stars.

One last scene will be shown from Moorstar's life. It takes place at the gathering, shortly after Strikestar's death.

**_Moorwater's POV:_**

Moorwater watched as Stubstar leap up onto the Great Oak. Fresh grief stabbed his heart. Strikestar had passed away just that moon.

"Moorwater," he turned to find Fliptail padding toward him. ShadowClan had revealed the secret, agreeing it would be better to do it of their own will than have it slip out. Moonstream and Fliptail allowed it, even though it meant losing the respect of their clanmates. Which it did. Moonstream was now just an old, but regular WindClan warrior, but she didn't care, as long as her son loved, or at least liked, her. And he did. Fliptail had joined the elders in their den, but he gave battle tactics to young RiverClan apprentices. The former kittypet took care of his nest, but allowed the apprentices to get rid of his fleas in exchange for tactics.

Moorwater was still uncertain on whether or not he should forgive Fliptail. His heart longed to, but he wasn't sure if he was ready to openly admit that he didn't regret Fliptail being his father.

"Have you forgiven me yet, son?" Fliptail's bright blue eyes reflected the shining, twinkling stars watching them.

Moorwater considered his question. He had been so furious when he had found out the secret. But he couldn't let anger stay forever. It only led to pain and misery as cats try to gain revenge. He felt a sudden swirl of memories, all the ones where he had to admit Fliptail had helped him out, even before he had known he was kin. Moorwater gazed up at the bright stars that were the spirits of his clanmates and other dead warriors. The light shining down from them and the moon sent him a message. _I can't stay mad at him any longer,_ Moorwater realized. _I've forgiven others for secrets kept that changed my life. I've forgave Chasingwind and Soaringsky moons ago. Fliptail has suffered enough. _He knew the answer now.

Moorwater stepped forward and touched noses with Fliptail. He uttered the word he had only ever meowed to his dear ShadowClan father, Chasingwind. "Yes, I have forgiven you... Father."


End file.
